Another mixtape, yay! This mixtape is called Songs For Him. There's not a name behind the 'him,' but more of like a type of person. These are songs to my future love, my future life, my future, in general. These are songs to him. They all kind of all over the place. I love music (as we all know), so I like to think that my future Him will love music as well, so these are like songs that I like to think that we'll sing (badly on my part) together or he'll sing to me, or we will blast on road trips together, or play at our wedding.
This is going to be a fun blog post for me because it's going to also explore one of my other favorite things: writing. I love writing almost as much as I love music. That's why this blog is so great for me, because it combines two of my favorite things. The explanations to why I chose these songs are going to be more fanciful and if everything goes the way I think it will, they will be more about the feelings behind the songs and my imaginations that the song inspires.
I put these songs in an order, so that if you would listen to the songs in the order I put them in, then it would kind of tell the story I'm trying to tell.
Songs For Him
1. Freak Like Me: Hollywood Ending
We probably won't meet in high school, as least not in class. The reason being that there are no boys in my classes. (A downside of an all-girls school.) However, I think that we are going to meet when we both know who we are. We will already know who we are and where we are going. Sure, we've still got some learning to do, but we will kind of know. Plus, I kind of think we are both going to be freaks, you know? We're going to like old rock bands and follow pop-punk bands around the country, or maybe you will be in a pop-punk band going around the country. I'll wear dark lipstick and heavy eyeliner, and you'll dye your hair. We'll be freaks, in our own sense.
2. Kids In The Dark: All Time Low
After we become friends, like best friends. I believe that the best relationships are when you are in love with your best friend, so hopefully, we will be best friends. At some point, when we are still best friends, I think one of us will be in a relationship. Maybe not serious, or maybe not even labeled a relationship, but something, okay? Maybe it will be you, maybe it will be me. However, that thing is going to come to an end. It's going to one of us, but the other will be there to make them feel better. And, during that time we are going to start to fall for each other. They left us alone and then we came together. And we lit up the dark.
3. Shut Up and Dance: Walk The Moon
Still in the falling stage, we are going to be spending a lot of time together. And a lot of time confused. We won't really know what is happening. Everything is new and different and nothing like we've experienced before. Sure, I've probably written about it or tried to express love in a math equation (because I love writing and I love math, get over it). You've probably written songs about it if you are in a band, or you've heard stories about my best friend Lilly and her fairytale romance. Or maybe, we've heard about it from Audrey, who is a long time friend of mine that you've grown to love because she is always around, stealing me away from you and jamming out to music with us in our living room. Audrey probably tells the story of falling in love in high school with her girlfriend. Maybe they aren't together anymore, but their love was real. I don't know where we've heard the stories, but we are feeling it. We are confused, but that doesn't stop us from falling even more. That doesn't stop us from dancing to our favorite songs or our bad habit of staying up to late and listening and discussing the harmonies in our favorite All Time Low songs and also discussing fate and destiny.
4. I Wanna Be Yours: Arctic Monkeys
One day, out of the blue, it's going to happen. One of us is going to confess our feelings for the other, and the other will confess them back. I don't know who will be first because I believe that we are going to be alike in some ways. We are both going to be outspoken and passionate and like a thunderstorm, loud and shocking, and bright, but sometimes dark. But we will be different, you will do things without thinking sometimes, while I'll try to plan them out to the minute, my anxiety taking over. Anyway, it will happen. One of us will probably blurt it out when we are grocery shopping together or when we are driving late at night or early in the morning. One of us will just say it: "I wanna be yours."
5. Somewhere In Neverland: All Time Low
We will probably try to run away at least once. We will be so captivated that we will one day just decide to do it. We will try, given that we are both determined and will follow through with just about anything. We will probably drive for a couple of days and then realize that it isn't the same. It isn't the same without our friends. Your bandmates who always wake you up to early, Audrey who introduces us to new music, Lilly and her exciting stories from her comedy shows. We need home. We need our small little apartment in the middle of a city that we moved into together after we graduated college less than a year ago. Before we knew what we were going to turn into. So, we will go home. But it won't be sad. Because home is a dream for us. Home is amazing. Sure, it's not where we grew up. It's not my snow-filled streets and my freezing cold bedroom, or your humidity filled familiar air or your old Spiderman comforter, but it's home. Because home is with each other.
6. I Must Be Dreaming: The Maine
I think you'll sing this song to me at some point, or maybe try to sing it to me. I don't know, if you are in a band you'll sing, if you aren't then you'll try. But you'll have the most beautiful voice ever just because you're you. The Maine is one of my most favorite bands ever and this song is one I've always dreamed of someone singing to me. You are going to tell me that you are must be dreaming because you are so happy and I must be dreaming too, because I never thought that real life could be this fucking happy.
7. She's Not Afraid: One Direction
We run into a problem, or I do at least. I'm scared of falling love. I'm scared that someday you aren't going to love me anymore and I will be destroyed. It doesn't make sense to anybody, because I'm not scared of a lot of things. I like the thrill of adrenaline. I love Halloween. Scary movies make me jump and shout, but I love the feeling. I like kissing in the dark because sometimes you accidentally kiss my nose or my eye, and it's always a surprise what you'll kiss the next time. I'm not afraid of the attention I get when I dress the way I do or say the things I say, but the one thing I so damn afraid of is falling in love.
8. Angel With A Shotgun: The Cab
You'll find out that I'm scared. Probably, when you finally realize that you are in love with me. You don't know how to tell me that you would do anything for me. You we never really good with words, which is weird considering you write lyrics. I guess they are different when they are in a song, which I actually understand. So, you find a song--this one--that will covey to me that you will do anything.
9. I'll Be: Edwin McCain
When I first heard this song, I wanted to to be my wedding song. I told that to you after you sang Angel With A Shotgun, or your band sang it. In concert. And embarrassed the hell out of me, which is really saying something because I don't get embarrassed easily. You won't listen to my request for this to be our wedding song, as I will soon find out, but you do play this song for the next two weeks before we go to bed every night, just because I said that I loved you and you said you loved me.
10. You Are In Love: Taylor Swift
The title of the song explains it. We are in love. You see the world in more color now. Shades of color you never thought you would see. It amazes you that you spent so much of your life without knowing these shades of color. I see the same colors. We wonder the same thing. It keeps up late at night, talking about how much things have changed for the better. And sometimes, when we've finally gone to bed at 4 am, you'll wake up at 5 and just tell me that you are in love. Just for good measure.
11. Kiss Me Kiss Me: 5 Seconds of Summer
We aren't teenagers anymore. In fact, we're more adults then we have ever been. But we still feel the same as we did as teenagers. We are wild and free, even though it may seem like we aren't. We still surprise each other, and we still live life to the fullest. It's a good life, and we get that. We're dreaming out loud.
12. Perfectly Out of Key: The Maine
This song just kind of describes our relationship. Not necessarily the lyrics of the song, but more just the title. We're not perfect, and we know that. We are kind of in our own little world and it's fun. We are unique and different and we have imperfections. But together, we just fit together and are perfectly our of key.
13. Starlight: Taylor Swift
We're adults now, more than ever. We both have jobs, different ones probably, or the same maybe. We could both be in bands and touring, or maybe I'm some CEO or a music producer or whatever. Who knows, but we both have responsibilities and it a lot of the time we get caught up with where we are supposed to be, what we are supposed to do, and who we are supposed to be. We forget who we are sometimes. Not at the same time, but every once in a while one of us forgets who we are and how lucky we are. Then, at the perfect time, the other calls them in sick and we spend the entire day living on the thrill and sneaking into parties, forgetting about everything we are supposed to be, and instead focus on who we actually are. It was one of these nights when we first brought up the idea of marriage. We always kind of new that we would get married someday. There's no way that either of us would let the other go. Before, however, marriage always just seemed like a lot of work. We were okay with how the way things were, so why change it? But now that we were adults, marriage was more present.
14. I Miss You: Blink-182
Every once in a while, we fight. Fighting is a natural thing to do. We've known each other for so long and we've been living together for at least a couple of years. It's only natural that we fight. It was probably about something stupid, like how you didn't wash your dishes or how I was late for dinner and forgot the call. It's weird how in the morning we can wake up together and be happy, and then by 11pm the next night, you are at your friends house sleeping on the couch and I'm screaming into your pillow because it smells like you and I miss you.
15. Stay Stay Stay: Taylor Swift
That fight was the last time that you left when we fought. From then on, you always stayed. Especially when we fought. You came back the next morning early and saw me clutching on to your pillow that was now covered in my tears. I was whimpering in my sleep, flinching at car honk from outside. Your heart broke when you saw me and you swore to yourself that you would never leave me again. So, from then on, whenever we would get into fights, we would try to talk it out and if we couldn't right then, then we would lay together and watch movies until we could.
16. Livin' On A Prayer: Bon Jovi
This was my first favorite song. And when I was sad or broken from feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders or the hard world crushing me and destroying my thunderstorm personality, you would sing this song. Sing it loudly and dance with me around the kitchen in the moonlight. This song could always make me smile, especially when I was with you listening to it. We were together and it didn't matter what happened, because we had each other and that's enough.
17. Long Way Home: 5 Seconds of Summer
We just liked spending time together. That was the baseline of our relationship. We just like being around each other. We were always laughing and making jokes and teasing our friends, only because we knew they could take it. At this point, we are probably around mid/late 20s, and we still acted like the lovesick teenagers that we were when we first met each other after we finished high school. My parents were confused how I could spend so long with one person, because from raising me they knew that I was very indecisive, but what I guess what they didn't know was that once I made the decision, I stuck with it to the end. I was only indecisive until the decision was made. Your parents were confused how a girl could keep you away from home for so long, because you always said that home was your favorite place. You tried explaining to them that home was with me. It wasn't that my parents didn't like you, or your parents didn't like me. It was just that they we were their babies and they wanted to make sure we were okay.
18. Backseat Serenade: All Time Low
We took a trip to your homeland. For the first time, I got to see where you grew up and where you did the stupid things in high school. I got to see where you snuck out of your house, and where you told your parents that you wanted to drop out of high school because your band was going somewhere when you were only 16. I got to see what made you you and I fell in move in love with you. He was so jealous that I got to know all these things about him, that we didn't even go back home after that trip, we went right to my hometown. You got to sleep in the bed that I slept in every night for years. You got to see my school and my basement window where I snuck out in high school. I introduced you to some of my high school friends that I keep in touch with but still lived here. You met my brothers and my sister, which you have never done when we were together and not just best friends. We met each others parents when we were still friends, but since my siblings are all older, they were always gone and living their own lives. My sister looked at you with a questioning eye and then smiled and hugged you when she saw how we looked at each other. My oldest brother welcomed you immediately and started making jokes. My other brother, the one I was closest to, was harder for you to impress. He questioned your clothes and your tattoos, but when I gave him "the look," he stopped and shook your hand.
19. Disconnected: 5 Seconds of Summer
We always found ourselves losing track of time when we were with each other. We tuned out everything around and just spent time together. The only thing that we truly understood in this world was the other person. It was perfect. We could just lay in bed and talk and not even hear the doorbell or the cars rushing by outside.
20. Collide (Acoustic Version): Howie Day
You asked me to marry you when I was 26. At that point, we had known each other for 8 years and we have been together for about 5 and a half. Other people thought it was a long time to be together an not be married, but like I said, marriage just never really bothered us. It wasn't until we brought it up that one night. Ever since then, it was on both of our minds almost all the time. One night, you took me to our favorite record store and played this song for me over the loud speaker, making remember the times in high school when I dreamed of this song being sung to me. You weren't singing, because you were on one knee and asking me to marry you. I said yes, of course.
21. Wonderwall: Oasis
Remember when I said that I wanted our wedding song to be I'll Be? You didn't listen, but I was actually okay with that. I'll Be is everybody's wedding song. Instead, you had your band (without you of course) play Wonderwall for our first dance. It was perfect. We didn't care that people were staring or that probably millions of people had Wonderwall as their wedding song. After our first dance, you told me that you had a surprise for me and you sang me my parents wedding song: These Are The Days by 10,000 Maniacs. It made me cry. In fact, it made everyone cry. Audrey and Lilly were in tears, our parents were sobbing, even my brothers were trying to discreetly wipe tears away from their eyes.
22. Unpredictable: 5 Seconds of Summer
We were happy in our life together. We were making plans to move back to your home for a while and then find a place to start a family. Everything was good. No matter what happened yesterday, or what will happen tomorrow. We were happy. We still broke our plans every once in a while to run wild on the streets and be unpredictable, and it was perfect. We were the same thunderstorms that we always have been. We knew who we were apart and we knew who we were together and it was the same, which is exactly what we wanted. We were taking on the world, together. And we were ready.
To my 'Him,' I hope you're everything I've ever dreamed of. I hope that you support my dreams, and I support yours. I hope that we can love each other, while still loving ourselves. I hope we can be everything we've ever wanted to be. I really hope I didn't just jinx everything. *Knock on wood*
-Laur
"We've gotta hold on to what we've got / It doesn't make a difference if we make it or not / We've got each other and that's a lot / For love we'll give it a shot." -Livin' On A Prayer, Bon Jovi
